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Showing posts from 2011

The Lord is my portion. Amen.

Poem:   Dear God, it feels like you break my heart in a whole new way every day. Seasons changing, so much changing. You are making everything new. What is my New Year's Resolution? I vow to fight through. You will bind up my broken heart and heal all my wounds-- stronger than before, more beautiful than before. I cannot do this on my own. I do not want to either. Teach me Lord how to live life fully and how to build community. Help me learn how to start over and help me to walk in joy. I want all that you have to offer. I want your presence and to enjoy you where I'm at. God, I want you as my inheritance and as my legacy. I want to fill my life with you daily. I want to be unashamed to talk about you. You are my best friend. This is normal and I am not ashamed. Let me not be ashamed of the Gospel, wherever that may lead me. Because no matter where life takes me,  I cannot be taken away from your love. Se que me amas. En tormentas y tem

Diary of a broken heart...

Poem: Broken Heart: I never want to let you go-- in this my emotions and actions show. But when I get close to you, you repel me away. What's wrong? I want to know what's on your heart. I want to fix it, so it won't hurt anymore. But I can't be your healer or your guide. I can only hope you'll turn to the Lord, and in Him hide. Don't hide in video games or other distractions. Take your fears to the Lord. Seek Him in His Word. Be changed by His immeasurable love. I love you so much. I hope you find peace in God's arms. Keep going and growing. I wish I could watch over you as you sleep, touch your hair softly, and listen to you breathe. But that's God's job, not mine. To Him be the glory forever and ever.  Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all

Guess what...?

God created the heavens and the earth!!!     In the beginning...He did it. En el precipio, Dios creo el cielo y la tierra. Genesis 1:1   He made me, He made you!   Look around and you will see.  This world filled with beauty was created for good and not for harm.  It was a beautiful present to someone very loved...us!  So rejoice, again I say rejoice!  Although we have taken our present and given it quite a bit of damage, there is still good to be found, joy, and love to be had.  Although we have committed many wrongs, the Creator of all is waiting for us with open arms to forgive us and take us back to Himself.  He has made a way to pay for all of our mistakes by sending His own Son Jesus Christ who (being an exact representation of His Father) willingly died on the cross in our place.   Remember that this Christmas season.  It's not about what we want , but about what we need !  We need a savior--look around you at the hurt that fills the world in so many places.  We nee

Rejoice! poem

Come to the waters of everlasting life and drink! He wants to give us life abundantly, let us accept it gratefully and go after it wholeheartedly. Our hope and purpose is in you. You are so faithful God. No man can fill me. Only your comfort breaks through. Our prayers are not prayed in vain. When two or more are gathered, there you are among them. You care about my pain. Thank you that I am cared about and prayed over. Your heart breaks for mine. I am in love with you. Help me to keep my heart true to all you are and have for me. I know there is so much more to see, so much more good to be had. No words can express how high, long, deep, and wide your love is. And surely you will be with us until the end of the age. Thank you God for how good you are and that you are trading my sorrows and pain for rejoicing and new hope. I love and praise you Lord.  Amen. : D  

Free to run, dance.

Poem (from like a week ago): I am free to run and free to dance. Take a chance. Be filled with His love again and again. When you are empty, give Him your ashes. He will trade them for beauy. Be refreshed by His love. It's only when I breakdown that He can break through. God makes all things new. When I realize that I can't handle it all, I give it over to God. It's a violent death to myself, but a total freedom in Him. I am free to run and free to dance. Thank you Lord for all you do for us. Thank you for your grace. I love and praise you Lord.  Amen.  

Don't Fear Man, Love God!

Poem:   People are just people. We get afraid of them, what they'll think and what they'll say. Don't worry about it. They'll accept you as you are... or they won't. It's their problem not yours. It's not that you aren't acceptable, it's that people aren't accepting. It's not that you're that you're not lovable enough, it's that people aren't loving enough. Your value comes from God, not man. You're wondering what they're thinking of you... don't. They're thinking about themselves, or what they have to do, or pizza or whatever. Be cool and they'll be cool... for the most part. And if they aren't, pray they have a better day. I hope the very best for you.  : ) Know that most people really do care when they know the situation and see their heart. They may not always show it, but it is implanted in us by God-- to care for each other. It is not of ourselves, it is not

Pictures!

Image
I just figured out how to put pictures on here.  :  )   I always like the idea of scrapbooking but haven't done it much yet.  This is a little like that.   This is me in Panama last summer.  I am wearing their tribal dress there.  I love these little girls so much! This is me with a couple of little boys in Panama.  They are adorable and climb in the trees like monkeys ha ha  :)  The one on the right is Ramon and I forget the other boy's name. This is me with a baby in Panama.  Her name is Emily.  She's so sweet.  <3 This is our team that went on a mission trip to Norway last fall.  I love you all!    These are some of the girls that I roomed with last year.  My sisters!  Love you all <3 These are some girls I got baptized with in Panama.  : D  Some of my friends from the Honor Academy!  Sarah Rennick my core advisor is the blonde on the far right. Ha ha me in Texas  : )  Some of my cousins and I at our graduation party.  My sister Bri

The Gospel oh the Gospel...

The Gospel never ceases to transform and convict.  God is making all things new.  : )   God’s promise to people who invite Christ into their lives is described in 1 John 5:11–13: “And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” The Bible says your relationship with God through Jesus Christ can never be taken from you. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:27–29). Christ is in your life: I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the

Transparency and Reflecting

Hello anybody and everybody ha ha like anybody reads this.  Well anyway I guess God does.  Lately God has been telling me to slow down, etc.  I have to learn to be okay with where I'm at and go from there.  I know that I need to keep growing, but I'm never going to "get there" so I need to realize that this really is a process and a journey.  I've been reading a book by Joyce Meyer called "Enjoying Where You are on the way to Where You are Going".  I'm actually almost done.  For a while I put off reading it because I didn't feel like it was possible for me to do that.  But it is and I think that I am growing.  God teaches me new things everyday.  He really does.            I keep up with my sister's blog now because I have it send me a link in my email.  She's a really good writer and it always gets me.  Recently she wrote about God calling her "Amada" which means "beloved" in Spanish.  I think sometimes I might thi

SHEEP......

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:27–29). God help me please.  Amen. 

A Rose for a Rose (friendship poem)

Poem I wrote inspired by and for my best friend Destiny Rose Medina: A rose for a rose. Nose goes. Let's watch as the wind blows. We are friends. A smile for a smile. Let's talk a while or run a mile. "I'll do it if you do." "I dare you to." We are friends. A laugh for a laugh for a laugh, hanging out in the caf(eteria), hugging all the friends we see because we are like one big family. I wish this would never end so great to share it with you my friend. A dance for a dance we'll take a chance of looking like fools as long as it's not against the rules. What fun it is to be friends with you.  : ) You've got a friend in me and I've got a friend in you. Thank you for being there to listen, sharing in my pain and laughter. You always make my life richer. Thank you for all that you add to my life, and thank you for being a friend.  <3 ----------end------------ There may have been more to this poem too

Don't hide your heart from Him : )

Poem (from a few weeks ago): I am weary God; in You I rest. Cast your cares upon the Lord for He delights in you. You are the desire of His heart. Let your walls come down. You don't have to hide anymore. God loves you and is on your side. The Lord fights for you just as he promised. He hears you when no one else does, in those times that you need to be heard. The Lord sees you and he loves you. He wants to comfort your heart. God says, "Have peace my child." Take a seat.  Take a seat. Take a load off of your feet.  : ) God loves you when you're doing your best and when you're a total mess. He can handle your problems and iniquities. You don't have to hide from Him. Lord help me not to hide from you. I give you my whole heart. Please heal me. I love you Lord.  Amen.

Teach Me......poem

Poem:  (from a few weeks ago) Teach me to breathe and to rest and listen. Give me clarity and perspective as I stop in surrender. Help me to see the all the beauty you've created around me. Teach me to abide in you, the True Vine. Give me wisdom, show me truth and love. How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the Good News of Christ. May my feet be beautiful for you. You say to put on the shoes of the Gospel of peace. May I walk with feet covered in your grace. I dedicate to you my heart and my life because you are the true life of this world. You came to give life and life abundently. Teach me your ways because I am your beloved. Please guide and take care of me as I put my trust in you. I love you Lord.  Amen.

Beauty & Daffodils (poems)

Today I went to a marriage enrichment conference at my church.  I'm not married or anything, but I will most likely get married someday and I do hope to.  With that I want to have a really good marriage because I believe if you do something, you should do it well, all the way, mean it, put your whole heart and effort into it, but not do it until you are ready.  I find that it usually works better that way.  Plus anyone could come to the conference today so I went and yeah it was really good.  It helped me to get clarity into me and when I do that, God is free to speak to me in spirit and I write poems more easily.  There was a pretty picture of a flower at church and I wrote a poem off of it that I entitled "Beauty".  Enjoy  : ) Beauty (poem): Beauty. I see beauty and I want to capture it. I want to emulate it and draw it into my soul until it becomes a part of me. Beauty is made into brilliant radiance on the inside. This is what I am aiming for. God is maki

Autumn leaves...

Poem (that I just wrote most of): Autumn Leaves Like a rescued autumn leaf, God you have picked me up and preserved me.  You heard my cry for help, reached down and saved me.  You have drawn me from deep waters  and restored my soul. I am renewed by your unconditional love as I stay in the safe place-- in the shadow of your wings.  I am deeply grateful, you are so patient with me.  Although I fail again and again, you help me to start over. You don't get mad, you simply say, "Try again." You work with me together until we make something beautiful.  You are patient with me because you love me. To you I am worth the time, energy, and the strength it takes. You are willing to take a few hits for and even from me, so that you can be with me. This is not because I am so great, but because you are so great at overlooking wrongs. God, you don't see me as I see myself-- as either doing good or really bad. I never will "get there."

The Lord cares for you!

Poem (I wrote like 15 minutes ago):  Arise, Oh church and awaken! Realize that it's okay to be broken. In humility recognize that you are not enough in yourself to fix things. You are not okay by yourself and you need a savior. Acknkowledge the Lord and all of His grace and unmerited favor. The Lord and His strength are enough for you. He is the one who will do the work.  We are the bride!  Church, turn to your husband. Let His love redeem you. Let God care for you.  Don't just let Him care about you, let Him take care of you.  When you come to the end of your strength, turn to Him.  Partner with Him daily. Recognize your brokenness and the great mercy of our Lord! He is a good friend who cares for you. He doesn't come to you expecting you to do everything on your own to please Him.  The Lord comes to you to heal you, care for you, and bind up your wounds.  He wants to offer His comfort, encouragement, and strength in coming alongside you.

Thinking Philosophically...

Know Thyself:   "Know thyself."--ancient Greek aphorism. Part of this can be 'ignoring the multitude' in what they think about you. Know what God says about you and take it to heart. Only when you know who you truly are will you be able to have real joy, hope, and peace.  Don't strive to be somebody or something else or more. Instead, learn, acknowledge and become who you are. God has placed a special beauty inside of you that shows a part of who He is in a unique way. Learn to recognize this and seek it out. God is using you wherever you are. Questions:  Don't forget to ask those deeper "Why?" questions. ----- "Why are these bad things happening?", "Why is the world so beautiful (nature, etc.)?" "Why are people beautiful?", "What does beauty truly look like?", "Why aren't people enough to fill me?", "Where does music come from, why is it so lovely?" etc.  These types of question

You are loved and enough.......poem

Poem (from a few days ago): I often feel like I'm not doing enough. I vow to work harder; be better. Then something whispers, "Maybe you are already enough." I think to myself, "I will never be enough. I must work harder, be tougher, no one must know of the tears that I shed." The voice whispers again, "You already are all you were made to be." I answer back, "Oh, no.  I am incomplete there is something terribly wrong and I must fix it. Maybe if I ignore my hurt and pain, it will all go away or at least I won't feel it anymore." "But you are forgetting about me," Jesus says. "You have to let me in to fix it. You have to let me in to heal you. "You are enough when you have me at your side." He tells me. God, I'm afraid to let you in. I'm afraid of what you'll say and see and that your love for me will no longer go on so deeply. I work so hard to defend my heart, but often i

Beauty for ashes...poem

You give me beauty for ashes, joy for my mourning, and praise for heaviness. In your house, O Lord, I thrive like an olive tree.  In your courts I praise you with a joyful dance. You are kind and merciful God. I wait for your mercies in the presence of your people. You are beautiful to behold, my beloved one. My sword and my shield, my protector come rescue me! Heal my heart and bind up my wounds. Open up the hidden love, trust, and potential I have.  I want to make your name great, O God! I worship you, for you are holy.  Hosannah--come save! My provider; be all I need. My comforter, fill me with peace and hope. Be with me in times of trials and pain. I give my burdens to you, for you are my helper.  You are my redeemer, come free me. You are a strong tower, your voice like rushing waters and thunder, with power mightier than all the sea, and you are for me. Come with your presence God! Come like fire and rain-- consume us in your love. I waited pat

Your Love.....poem (today).

Here's a poem I wrote about 5 minutes ago: (I love this time of night when all is quiet and it's just me and God). Poem: Father God, heal my heart and save me! Reach out and embrace me. I want your love to chase me. Capture me in your arms. Romance my heart. Draw me away. I long for it to be only you and me. Pull me away from each busy day-- the distractions I have to keep my mind off the pain of feeling a little lost, scared, and unsure of what's to come. All I seek is foolish gain, when it compares to you. Whom do I have in heaven but you? If you are for me, why do I fear mere mortal man? I can't get enough of your presence. I can't get over that you love me. It's shocking to me that I can't live without you. I die a little each day, when I stay away from you. But when I draw near to you, you draw near to me. You refresh my heart more and more each day. My love for you grows. Your love for me is as big and bold as a sunse

The Fullness

John 10:10  "The thief's purpose is to steal, kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give life in all it's fullness."--Jesus God owns my time.    Wow that's a powerful revelation.  I belong to Him.  Hmmm. My possible core values:    If I ever had a core... call it radiant love?  I just like the sound of that.             steadfast love/faithfulness       faith       joy/radiant       peace/ assurance in Him       reckless abandon ha ha  : )       His wisdom....hmmm One of my favorite songs ever is Divine Romance by Phil Wickham.  I listen to it a lot.  One time I listened to it over and over for like an hour and a half.  It expresses where I want to always be with God.  "I lift my heart and my hands to show my love, to show my love.  Whoooo...." No place I would rather be. There's no place I would rather be than here in your love here in your love (from a song). Jesus please help me get plugged in here (Bemidji) and get a job, rea

Seek His Presence.

Seek His Presence    Search for the Lord and His strength and keep on searching.   --1 Chronicles 16:11  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------           That was a theme for me for a while and will always be. I need to be consecrated and broken before the Lord.  I need to be filled with His love. I need to need you God!  I need to know my need for you really. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength."  --Deuteronomy 6:5 The end is near...end times stuff with International House of Prayer and Mike Bickle.  Omega Series. "Swag!"  --Baja mission trip.  : )  Shout out to Keith Smith.   Seek the fullness and presence of God.    I am nothing without Him.  Life is not full without you God.   Humility.      His justice.       Let grace and favor come as you are humbled by The Cross and draw near to Him .                           God you are higher than any

'God's Love is Like the Ocean' poem...

When I went on the mission trip to Baja, Mexico, we got to go to a beach on the ocean in San Diego, California.  I got to swim in a real ocean with waves there for the first time.  It was awesome!  God's work is so amazing.  It showed so much of God's power and beauty.  The stretched out ocean horizon looked like outstretched arms of love.  It was so beautiful.  The waves were like surges of power, strength, and grace.   God's Love is Like the Ocean (poem): God's love is like the ocean; long, wide, deep, and amazing, immeasurable and beautiful. It never changes. You can't resist it. It never ends, but only goes deeper and deeper. You can get lost in it. When you're swimming and jumping in the ocean waves, it's overwhelming, but you can't get enough as they crash over you. If you let go of all control and are in the right place, the currents will pull you away. It is the same with the draw of God's deep and compassionate love.

Some verses/ thoughts lately...

Things I'm learning/need to remember lately:   Galatians 1:10  "...If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Isaiah 48:17  "I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." I need to remember those verses as I continue on into life.  Lord, please help me to keep my path set on you and  in relationship and in love with you first.  Please keep me in line God.  Thanks.  I know that you love me. He makes a way where there is no way. "No one can give you what I gave you at the cross."  --Jesus speaking assurance to me. 2 Corinthians 4:18  "So we don't look at the troubles we have right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen.  For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever." I want to read the Qu'ran so I can say, "Actually the Qu'ran really does say that and that is bad.  I read

At home in Bemidji, MN...

I love and miss my family core from the Honor Academy and the custodial team! "In His unfailing love, my God will come and help me."  --Psalm 59:10 "He's (God is) the treasure you'll never find in the mall."  --Lacrae (Don't Waste Your Life) Here's a poem I wrote a while ago: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, come heal me, save me, meet me where I'm at. I get so broken and lost. I want to be able to follow you at any cost. I'm tired of living my life halfway for you. I let the devil attack me and bring me down. I trust in myself and my own understanding more than you. I'm afraid to cry and break. I'm afraid giving my all would leave me with nothing and be more than I can take. I'm afraid to let go. I listen to the lies in my head instead of focusing on the truth that You love me. I hear your Word, yet I don't obey. I go my own way. Oh what a tormented soul I sometimes choose to be. Why?  Because I often liv

Back from Baja

Hello, I'm now back from mission trip to Baja Mexico.  We were located near Tijuana.  My sister Brittany has lived near there before.  I was there about 3 weeks, mission trip for a week and Global Expeditions operations for about 2 weeks.  The trip was really good.  I like Mexico.  It was kind of hard when I was off my mission trip week because I had to branch out more to be more apart of the team.  I got to be a Missionary Advisor on my trip which was good.  I love the girls in my group!  We did VBS ministry, a house building project, and street evangelism.  I love the kids and I miss them.  We also had a free day and we went to a market in Rosalito.  The people there you could tell didn't have much.  They were desperate for us to buy something.  It was like we were there hope when we came in.  On one free day there we got to go to a market in Rosalito I had no money.  When the people came up to me asking if I wanted to buy something, instead I smiled at them and handed them