Redeemed

Good evening, It is a quiet night.  I have recently moved into a new place.  I am enjoying being on my own, although it can be lonely at times.  I just did a few dishes and tidied up.  I enjoy having a quiet space to myself to clear my thoughts.  I tend to overstress so it is good to take breaks.  I recently joined Tae Kwon Do and that has been a really good outlet for me.  It feels good to be working toward new goals and learning new things.  I'm a process of growth there is happiness.  I am also getting into a routine of a new job I started.  I'm having to learn to balance this new responsibility without taking too much on at my other job.  I got to meet a friend at a coffee shop today which was refreshing.  I talked about finding it really hard to rely on other people and taking on a lot of anxiety.  I think I have the anxiety because it is a mental process I do of taking it on.  It may be my tendency but i...

"My name is DJ Jazzy Jazz (aka Jasmine), and I like Goats!"  --This is how I introduced myself at the dinner table tonight.-- "You can't introduce yourself like that and not do the thing..." -other staff. Cue the faux beat boxing, "Boots and cats and boots and cats.  Bts cts. Bts cts."  And the children become quiet and confused... wha?  "Jasmine, tell us your dream about goats!" -other staff. "I want to have goats that go on a trampoline!" -me Such is one of the many interesting conversations that occur at the youth shelter where I work.  It goes by many names... Emergency Shelter Program, Youth Crisis Shelter, Youth Shelter... et cetera. There are some days that push me beyond my limit.  Days I am like - Why. Is. This. My. Life. ? ? ? And there are days where I feel, "This moment is what it is about.  This is why I am in it.  It's worth it for this moment."  Is that the way parenting goes?  I feel I...

I'm enjoying a few quiet moments and a bowl of soup at my favorite food co-op.  I finished a good day of work and now get to rest and reflect.  I'm typing on my phone which would be easier on a typewriter at this point, but I found a quote from my notebook I wanted to share. "Gratitude, therefore, takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to the praise of the goodness of God.  For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience.  And that makes all the difference."  -Thomas Merton I have been experiencing gratitude for people I have been able to meet who have come alongside me lately.  They have shared their lives with me, encouraged me, and let me tell my own story.  As I have struggled to see my own value, they have let me know that small things can have great impact. Being content is important and although I may not see my impact, "It is well with my soul." I feel ...

Greetings fellow humans, It is Friday night and I've spent it sitting on the deck spilling my thoughts on paper, sipping Caramel flavored hot apple cider, and having some dinner with a short trip to Facebook.  I think I prefer a quiet life to an overly rowdy one.  These past couple of months have breezed by, trying to soak in the last of the warmth this year will have to offer.  I have been enjoying the fall leaves.  It seems my mind has been more meandering than focused lately.  I have been jumping from one thing to the next. I have started a new job and I've come to really enjoy it.  It has plenty of challenges being as I work with youth and have much to gain in assertiveness and having limits.  I am hired part-time, but mostly work full-time hours.  I feel that the experience I am gaining has its own benefits and I am learning quite a bit.  I am becoming more comfortable with working at the youth shelter and am feeling more confident ...

Good evening, I have gotten to slow down a little bit lately.  It's good to take a break after pushing toward a goal for a year.  I finished my AmeriCorps hours yesterday: 1,720 hours.  It will be so good to see the final hours get approved this week.  Then I will feel like I am really done. I have actually had time to read things for fun lately.  I read The Bean Trees and The Secret Life of Bees .  It was good to finish the whole book so they can move on to another home.  I haven't been the most productive, but maybe rest is productive unto itself. It is so nice to be out in the sunshine lately.  The light is long.  I have been out on walks with the dog sometimes.  She's pulling me along mostly.  I am somewhat tired out, so this post may not be the most eloquent.  I am moving forward with training at a youth shelter.  I have been doing volunteer hours there for awhile. So many popsicles...  I love popsicles...

Good evening y'all, It has been a long day, but it has gone by fast.  Sort of ironic.  I'm sitting at home trying to get some rest from this cold that's clinging to me like a crawfish...??  I know I've been at work too long when I start sounding out words in my head that I see--like the word, Th-i-n-k-ing.  Or I start saying the words that way to adults when they ask me a question. This 2016-17 school year I am a LITERACY TUTOR in AmeriCorps.  It sounds kind of fancy when you put it that way.  I spend my days working one-on-one with about 16 different students on various reading interventions.  We work on short reading passages or blending together small words.  This also includes a lot of paperwork, data entry, prep work, bribing and coaxing via small toys, candy, and cracker items.  It should involve a lot more praise than scolding, more high-fives than head-shaking, and you get the picture.  The work is often rewarding, but also ...

Greetings, I write this while chilling out at home with the dog (Cubbie) lightly snoring, hearing the clock ticking in the quiet , and sitting in an office chair at the kitchen table as it is more comfortable than a regular chair.  I'm wearing my comfortable bright pink plaid flannel shirt.  I just ate a warm chicken pot pie from Lueken's grocery store and drank some hot chocolate.  I am so grateful for quiet moments like these.   They are rare. I am learning to really enjoy the simple things in life.   Mmm good morning coffee and a bowl of oatmeal, seeing a sunrise, a good hug from a loved one .  There's times when I hide in my little office space and feel pretty overwhelmed.  Some jobs really take a lot out of me.  It is stretching me beyond myself .  That is a good thing, but it is also challenging. I'm starting to settle into the routine of adult life a little better.  Get to places on time, make lists, write down dates...

Hello, I hope this finds you well.  It has been a fairly busy summer for me since I began work at Camp Oak Hills this June.  I have really enjoyed working as a kitchen assistant at the camp.  We have had a few weeks of campers now.  There is a lot of work to be done and it can be a challenge to finish our tasks. We have gotten a few volunteers that come in to help serve.  They help in many areas at the camp including our kitchen.  This helps relieve some of the crunch-time stress before meals.  I can end up being someone that worries a lot.  I will be worried about having enough noodles or just trying to keep up with things.  It is these small things that end up stressing me out.  I have to be reminded to take a break. I ended up injuring my knee one day on accident.  I went in for it but I kept hoping it would get better with time.  I did need to go in again and the MRI showed I had a tear in my knee cartilage.  If...

Just Wishing... I wish that I could pour healing words into you, reaching to the bottom of your soul. Like a cup of warm cocoa on a cold winter's day, the warmth goes in your belly and straight down to your toes. I wish I could cover you in love like a grandmother's quilt keeping you safe and warm at night— like a caring embrace, that takes away the shivers. I want to take away the aching pain that naws at your weary soul. I want to wipe away the tears that you hide and soothe those wounds that cut so deep inside. I have a mothering heart, it hurts to see the pain I cannot mend. I don't want to look away, I don't want to act like all is well and play pretend. I see your hurt, I see your heart, and I want you to know that you are loved. If it's all I have to give, it's this knowledge from above, that God sees it all and God feels it too. This is the way that I can feel for you. I pray that y...

          This poem is kind of an accumulation of things I am grieving for and how I feel.  I like to think that it's okay to express emotions like the psalms.  I am also stressing about a paper, so this was a short break.  I have been struggling with pain from the past.  Sometimes I don't understand why people hurt others so much, but most of the time I don't think that they mean to do so.  We all learn to cope in different ways.  Some ways are VERY unhealthy. . . I have learned through good and bad experiences.  Thank you to God who carries me through.   Heartsick . . . When you love someone so much, that it drips out of your soul, When you love someone so much, and when they leave it makes a hole, When you love someone so much, that you are torn like fluttering ribbons, what is one to do? When you love until it hurts, because you hurt for their hurts, When you love until you are sore,...

Hello, Life has been busy lately, as it never does seem to slow down.  There are times when I need to step back and deflate a little bit.  Time to think and process.  This is one of those times. This year is going by so fast.  It is my senior year of college at Oak Hills.  It's the cliche of,"the time of your life," but it feels normal.  It has been difficult but very good at the same time.  This truly is a unique season in life to be surrounded by so many peers living in one space, sharing our experience in community.  Each person has their own unique story, but we all share common struggles and joys.   As this season of my life is coming to a close I have been more proactive in being involved with others here.  At times I get so focused on getting things done, homework, etc. that I forget to invest in relationships and even in myself.  I can see how people involved in ministry can become so burnt out.  It's not po...

Greetings, It's been a while.  I do journal a lot, but I haven't blogged lately.  I'm learning that I need to pour out and share about my life.  I may be one small person with a seemingly insignificant life, but I am still able to make a difference.  "Small acts with great love."...Mother Theresa. It's becoming winter in Minnesota, freshly fallen snow outside here which is our trademark.  I'm on the Oak Hills campus where I was cuddled up to the propane fireplace which at least looks real.  I'll take what I can get.  It's pretty nice to go to a school where you can cuddle up by a fireplace in a blanket in a public building.  This place has become my home. I think wherever you go, it becomes part of you and you become part of it.  You never stay the same.  I will always have a little bit of Texas in me with the heat, red dirt, Indian paintbrushes and other beautiful flowers, and all the beautiful friendships I made there.  I t...

Wow.  So today is a good day.  It's Mother's Day!            I'm really realizing how much I need family and I need to have a base and people to be connected with.  A lot of times I'm just trying to help others and do things for that, but I hardly ever let them like pour into me and be like a family or really talk about things.  I think a hard thing about the Honor Academy is learning so much but not really having a place to pour it out.  For example just having people to tell what you are learning and how your day was.  Of course telling those things to God, but even time with God is like being poured into and not you pouring out.  I don't know if this makes sense, but anyway.  I have to learn to "build community" in like being connected with people for real and having a base to jump off of before I think I can go make a big impact on the world.       ...