Grateful...
Greetings,
It's been a while. I do journal a lot, but I haven't blogged lately. I'm learning that I need to pour out and share about my life. I may be one small person with a seemingly insignificant life, but I am still able to make a difference. "Small acts with great love."...Mother Theresa.
It's becoming winter in Minnesota, freshly fallen snow outside here which is our trademark. I'm on the Oak Hills campus where I was cuddled up to the propane fireplace which at least looks real. I'll take what I can get. It's pretty nice to go to a school where you can cuddle up by a fireplace in a blanket in a public building. This place has become my home.
I think wherever you go, it becomes part of you and you become part of it. You never stay the same. I will always have a little bit of Texas in me with the heat, red dirt, Indian paintbrushes and other beautiful flowers, and all the beautiful friendships I made there. I think you can find beauty wherever you go as long as you look hard enough. Even in the darkest times of life I still see the beauty God puts there. A couple weeks ago I was having a really rough day and I wrote this,
"...And yet, God shows up sometimes in a rose or a sunset, and for a brief moment I know that I am loved."
There are times when I get so frustrated and fed up with things in life, but then I surrender it to God. I am not the one in control here. It's probably a good thing too or I would screw it up. His mercies are new every morning. Gospel truth. Even if I'm not awake yet, it's a new day and a new chance.
"Believe you can and you are halfway there."
I like that quote a lot. It is hard to get over self-defeating thoughts that end up putting you into this cycle of negativity. I am learning to take it slower as I get older. I'm not going to have it all together, ever. I am enough. I am beautiful. I am worth it. It is so hard to believe those things, but I know it is the truth. I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't. And the truth that I am loved when I am broken, crying and a mess, I don't have to have it all together, and I am not alone. These things are very true. I couldn't live if I wasn't loved, like plants without water. So I know that I am loved.
"I am eternally drawn to this Being who formed every part of me and knows every detail of my being-- and he still lets me inhabit the earth. Wow. Those stars though, those sunsets." --my journal
Here is something I wrote about my time at Teen Mania Honor Academy:
"I am so grateful for those times when I had nothing but God left to turn to in my heart. I let the other distractions fade and I had to face the emptiness and sorrow deep inside. I had to deal with the emotions and hurts I hadn't dealt with in my life growing up. They came to the surface and I wept. God met me there in my deep sorrow. I had to deal with God and let him deal with me, emptying myself of worthless wanderings to let him fill my heart with true love. The sweetness of his presence was so near in those times. When the rest was burned away, I felt God so close. I don't naturally deal with things. It has to be a choice, stepping back. You have to go to the secret place, giving time when you have no time. It shapes you." Nov. 2nd 2015
I am still learning this. It is easy to settle into a routine and not deal with the wounds in your life and not seek out God. When we are broken and hurting, we turn to something or someone to fill it, I hope and pray that you will turn to God in these times. Turn to the Healer. There's a lot of things wrong in this world, a lot of hurt and sorrow. I know that God is for those people though, he is near to the broken-hearted. He is on their side. And I believe that love conquers hate and that good WILL overcome evil.
Why do we love those stories of good and evil so much and want the good guys to win? Because this is our story and we are living it. Good IS stronger than evil. We only see part of the picture. We don't know the whole story. Some people go through so much suffering this side of heaven, but we don't see the whole story. They can have hope in God because he is a rewarder of those who earnestly seek him. If there is no God, there is no hope. If people are in control ultimately, we are so doomed. Because people are messed up and broken. God works through this brokenness. He is working out restoration in the world and in people's lives. We may not see it at the surface level or with all the news headlines, but God is in those dark places too. He loves those people in dark places and is there.
We are called to reach out to others. We are called to love as God loves. We are to love who he loves. And remember the little Sunday school songs always, keep them in your heart.
"Jesus loves the little children,
all the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white--
they are precious in his sight.
Jesus loves the children of the world."
So don't think you have an excuse not to reach out. We are called to them ALL. This is not based on where they live or the color of their skin. When you encounter someone in need and you can help, do so. We are not called to only help "our own" whatever that means. As Christians, we are called to everyone. I don't know anything much about politics, but I do know that. I pray that we will learn to be global people, who see things in a bigger perspective. This is why I am planning to go to the Urbana Missions Conference again this year. I want to see the world from a bigger perspective and learn how to reach out better.
I will be graduating from college this spring and I'm not sure what I will be doing afterward. I do hope that in whatever I do, it will be glorifying to God and for a greater purpose. I also hope to find some direction during the missions conference as I will have a chance to learn more about many global opportunities. But mainly, I want to learn HOW to live, not just what to do. Wherever I end up, I want to learn to be all in. It's not mainly about what you do, but how you live.
I am very grateful for the opportunity to be part of this learning community at Oak Hills growing in wisdom, knowledge, relationships and faith. I am also grateful to be going to Urbana and for the grace God has had in my life. I think God can take these pieces and make something really beautiful, I don't know what it will be, but it will be good.
I am slowly coming together and growing up little by little. I am becoming more at peace with my place in the world and who I am. I have a deep longing to be whole, and it is a process... "I am complete in Christ." Slow down... enjoy the journey... be present. Deep breath. You are okay. You are valuable and precious.
Nobody can replace you. "No one else can play your part." (TWLOHA).
So take it easy. Be okay with where you are. You are loved and valuable. Take this into your soul, take a deep breath, and REST.
Thanks for reading : )
--Jasmine
It's been a while. I do journal a lot, but I haven't blogged lately. I'm learning that I need to pour out and share about my life. I may be one small person with a seemingly insignificant life, but I am still able to make a difference. "Small acts with great love."...Mother Theresa.
It's becoming winter in Minnesota, freshly fallen snow outside here which is our trademark. I'm on the Oak Hills campus where I was cuddled up to the propane fireplace which at least looks real. I'll take what I can get. It's pretty nice to go to a school where you can cuddle up by a fireplace in a blanket in a public building. This place has become my home.
I think wherever you go, it becomes part of you and you become part of it. You never stay the same. I will always have a little bit of Texas in me with the heat, red dirt, Indian paintbrushes and other beautiful flowers, and all the beautiful friendships I made there. I think you can find beauty wherever you go as long as you look hard enough. Even in the darkest times of life I still see the beauty God puts there. A couple weeks ago I was having a really rough day and I wrote this,
"...And yet, God shows up sometimes in a rose or a sunset, and for a brief moment I know that I am loved."
There are times when I get so frustrated and fed up with things in life, but then I surrender it to God. I am not the one in control here. It's probably a good thing too or I would screw it up. His mercies are new every morning. Gospel truth. Even if I'm not awake yet, it's a new day and a new chance.
"Believe you can and you are halfway there."
I like that quote a lot. It is hard to get over self-defeating thoughts that end up putting you into this cycle of negativity. I am learning to take it slower as I get older. I'm not going to have it all together, ever. I am enough. I am beautiful. I am worth it. It is so hard to believe those things, but I know it is the truth. I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't. And the truth that I am loved when I am broken, crying and a mess, I don't have to have it all together, and I am not alone. These things are very true. I couldn't live if I wasn't loved, like plants without water. So I know that I am loved.
"I am eternally drawn to this Being who formed every part of me and knows every detail of my being-- and he still lets me inhabit the earth. Wow. Those stars though, those sunsets." --my journal
Here is something I wrote about my time at Teen Mania Honor Academy:
"I am so grateful for those times when I had nothing but God left to turn to in my heart. I let the other distractions fade and I had to face the emptiness and sorrow deep inside. I had to deal with the emotions and hurts I hadn't dealt with in my life growing up. They came to the surface and I wept. God met me there in my deep sorrow. I had to deal with God and let him deal with me, emptying myself of worthless wanderings to let him fill my heart with true love. The sweetness of his presence was so near in those times. When the rest was burned away, I felt God so close. I don't naturally deal with things. It has to be a choice, stepping back. You have to go to the secret place, giving time when you have no time. It shapes you." Nov. 2nd 2015
I am still learning this. It is easy to settle into a routine and not deal with the wounds in your life and not seek out God. When we are broken and hurting, we turn to something or someone to fill it, I hope and pray that you will turn to God in these times. Turn to the Healer. There's a lot of things wrong in this world, a lot of hurt and sorrow. I know that God is for those people though, he is near to the broken-hearted. He is on their side. And I believe that love conquers hate and that good WILL overcome evil.
Why do we love those stories of good and evil so much and want the good guys to win? Because this is our story and we are living it. Good IS stronger than evil. We only see part of the picture. We don't know the whole story. Some people go through so much suffering this side of heaven, but we don't see the whole story. They can have hope in God because he is a rewarder of those who earnestly seek him. If there is no God, there is no hope. If people are in control ultimately, we are so doomed. Because people are messed up and broken. God works through this brokenness. He is working out restoration in the world and in people's lives. We may not see it at the surface level or with all the news headlines, but God is in those dark places too. He loves those people in dark places and is there.
We are called to reach out to others. We are called to love as God loves. We are to love who he loves. And remember the little Sunday school songs always, keep them in your heart.
"Jesus loves the little children,
all the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white--
they are precious in his sight.
Jesus loves the children of the world."
So don't think you have an excuse not to reach out. We are called to them ALL. This is not based on where they live or the color of their skin. When you encounter someone in need and you can help, do so. We are not called to only help "our own" whatever that means. As Christians, we are called to everyone. I don't know anything much about politics, but I do know that. I pray that we will learn to be global people, who see things in a bigger perspective. This is why I am planning to go to the Urbana Missions Conference again this year. I want to see the world from a bigger perspective and learn how to reach out better.
I will be graduating from college this spring and I'm not sure what I will be doing afterward. I do hope that in whatever I do, it will be glorifying to God and for a greater purpose. I also hope to find some direction during the missions conference as I will have a chance to learn more about many global opportunities. But mainly, I want to learn HOW to live, not just what to do. Wherever I end up, I want to learn to be all in. It's not mainly about what you do, but how you live.
I am very grateful for the opportunity to be part of this learning community at Oak Hills growing in wisdom, knowledge, relationships and faith. I am also grateful to be going to Urbana and for the grace God has had in my life. I think God can take these pieces and make something really beautiful, I don't know what it will be, but it will be good.
I am slowly coming together and growing up little by little. I am becoming more at peace with my place in the world and who I am. I have a deep longing to be whole, and it is a process... "I am complete in Christ." Slow down... enjoy the journey... be present. Deep breath. You are okay. You are valuable and precious.
Nobody can replace you. "No one else can play your part." (TWLOHA).
So take it easy. Be okay with where you are. You are loved and valuable. Take this into your soul, take a deep breath, and REST.
Thanks for reading : )
--Jasmine
This was at Teen Mania...
Comments