Closing in on the Finish Line (Graduation)...
Hello,
Life has been busy lately, as it never does seem to slow down. There are times when I need to step back and deflate a little bit. Time to think and process. This is one of those times.
This year is going by so fast. It is my senior year of college at Oak Hills. It's the cliche of,"the time of your life," but it feels normal. It has been difficult but very good at the same time. This truly is a unique season in life to be surrounded by so many peers living in one space, sharing our experience in community. Each person has their own unique story, but we all share common struggles and joys.
As this season of my life is coming to a close I have been more proactive in being involved with others here. At times I get so focused on getting things done, homework, etc. that I forget to invest in relationships and even in myself. I can see how people involved in ministry can become so burnt out. It's not possible to help others without being filled up yourself. I have been experiencing this lately.
I am grateful for the people in my life that have helped me to step outside of my comfort zone. They have challenged me to become part of a bigger group where we care for each other. I have grown into myself a mindset that I need to do things myself and not ask for help unless absolutely necessary. And yet I have a strong desire to help others and reach out in compassion and empathy. It doesn't work to do both. I have to be willing to accept the support of others in order to give support when someone else needs it.
My heart often goes out to those who are broken, worn, and have nothing left to give. It may be since I have experienced these painful times myself I know what it feels like. However, it is not out of these times themselves that I am able to give. So if sometimes I am more withdrawn, and not venturing out as much, it is probably the times that I need someone to pour into me.
I am not the kind of wheel that squeaks to get the oil. I am the kind of wheel that seems just fine and then goes flat and comes off of the cart. I am the kind of wheel that rationalizes to myself, "I don't need any oil. The other wheels need the oil more than I do. I shouldn't complain about needing oil. I can do this myself." (This is an analogy, I am not a wheel :)
So please, if you can, know that I am doing my best. I am in need of support but often have too much pride to ask for help. In this time of transition please give me grace. Thank you to all who are here for me and for all that you do in my life. Pray for me as I am moving ahead into whatever is next. I may work this summer at Camp Oak Hills. Pray for an open heart and willingness to grow and surrender the future, anxieties, the unknown, all over to Jesus.
(Sincerely),
Jasmine F.
(Thesaurus.com)
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