Redeemed

Hello, : )  I haven't blogged in a while, although I do have more poems to upload to here than this.  I've been busy w/ working, etc. and I haven't had as much time to cultivate my inner life I guess.  Lord, help me to pursue you even when it's hard because I know that you love me and it is worth it.  Amen! Winds of change  (recent poem): I'm at home, free at last. Calmed I feel today, no too big of responsibilities on my plate. Still many things to do, things to figure out. Always something on the back burner-- now literally, I'm watching the boiling chick peas. I gotta get another job-- again. It's frustrating, but I'm getting used to it. I gotta get in line with how the world works. But Lord, don't let me settle. Let me be in love with your love and be filled to the full. I don't want to fall for this world, but for you. I'm looking forward to the Fourth of July. Things change. As the world spins, may I spin wit...

Bah so I still don't know what to do w/ my life and I've thought of living in an rv at college if they'd allow it to make it cheaper. They probably wouldn't allow that. Why does life have to get so complicated? I want to be involved in something where my life is being poured so much into children! that I won't even think of anything else. And I  mean that in the way of like taking care of orphans or something. But there just doesn't seem to be a clear path and it is frustrating! When I am pouring love into others and serving, I forget about myself... I want that again. I want that to CONSUME my life! Their is a part of me forever holding that sweet little 9-year-old Ramon in Panama and humming little made-up songs to him. Those moments of sweetness are never lost and they are worth all! So why do I get so caught up in worrying? I have a picture on my bedside table of a little girl from Africa or something that says, "Is she worth it?" My heart says, ...

Poem (from earlier this month): A glow, a spark, an ember, a fire. Let us be lit with your love and holy desires. Let our lives show your glory, giving ourselves to you in a crazy, sacrificial, heart-felt love. As I feel your embrace I pray my heart will bow in wonder at your love and let you fill my life. Let us live our lives in such a way that You will change the world through us. Our love for you and our love for each other will show the world that there is more to this life. May we let go of all bitterness, strife, anger, and greed. Everything belongs to you, there's nothing you don't see. In your presence, oh God, all else melts away. You long to bring our world into a love-filled harmony. As we dwell in your peace, may your sanctity spread across the seas and to the nations afar. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear, the splendor of your glory. In you we are free. Our chains and burdens are lifted! We lift our eyes to you once again! I lov...

Poem (earlier in this journal too--sometime in Feb.): King of Majesty Lord, I am humbled by your majesty; by the glory of your throne. It is You, the God of all, that I worship. I was made for you, to live a life glorifying and loving you. You could crush me in an instant or wipe out every living thing in a day, but instead you chose to give your life for ours. Through Christ you showed your great character of daily, miraculous, sacrificial love. You pour out your blessings and dwell among us. You show your glory through every joy and sorrow of life, constantly drawing our hearts to you! King of Majesty come down! Rain down on us your Spirit! We long to know you more and more. I love and praise you God. Amen & Amen.  

The Lord is Great! Poem (from earlier this journal): Lord, You are gracious and holy. Your awesomeness  far outweighs the stars. In the splendor of Your glorious majesty, I realize I am but a speck of dust. I don't see why you would care to love and care for a creature like me. However, in your great mercy you do! Thank you Lord for your sovereignty. You humble yourself to love us. Pitying our fallen condition, you give us your strength, although we are undeserving. I thank you on behalf of the entire human race for all of your grace, goodness, majesty, and love. You owe us nothing, but you have given us everything. Thank you Lord for all you do and for loving me, despite me. I love and praise you God.  Amen.  

Hello!  : D So lately I haven't been blogging because I've been like, well probably no one reads this so who cares and I don't have time, etc.  But I need to do this for my own sake and because it is pleasing to the Lord too.  I have to be willing to be faithful even if I will never see the fruit of it, like when you give your money away somewhere that doesn't serve you but you know it does good things.  It's hard to give, be obedient and have faith.       Why is it so hard to have faith?  I have to realize that my life does matter even if I feel like I'm not saving the world or anything.  I never was or will be, that's God's job.  I just hope I will find a place to be incorporated into telling and spreading the great message of His salvation!  I'm realizing though that it has to start with the small acts of obedience every day before I'll ever be able to do anything really "great".  For example, if I want to be able to pla...

Poem:   Dear God, it feels like you break my heart in a whole new way every day. Seasons changing, so much changing. You are making everything new. What is my New Year's Resolution? I vow to fight through. You will bind up my broken heart and heal all my wounds-- stronger than before, more beautiful than before. I cannot do this on my own. I do not want to either. Teach me Lord how to live life fully and how to build community. Help me learn how to start over and help me to walk in joy. I want all that you have to offer. I want your presence and to enjoy you where I'm at. God, I want you as my inheritance and as my legacy. I want to fill my life with you daily. I want to be unashamed to talk about you. You are my best friend. This is normal and I am not ashamed. Let me not be ashamed of the Gospel, wherever that may lead me. Because no matter where life takes me,  I cannot be taken away from your love. Se que me amas. En tormentas y te...