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Quiet Renewal

Good evening, It is a quiet night.  I have recently moved into a new place.  I am enjoying being on my own, although it can be lonely at times.  I just did a few dishes and tidied up.  I enjoy having a quiet space to myself to clear my thoughts.  I tend to overstress so it is good to take breaks.  I recently joined Tae Kwon Do and that has been a really good outlet for me.  It feels good to be working toward new goals and learning new things.  I'm a process of growth there is happiness.  I am also getting into a routine of a new job I started.  I'm having to learn to balance this new responsibility without taking too much on at my other job.  I got to meet a friend at a coffee shop today which was refreshing.  I talked about finding it really hard to rely on other people and taking on a lot of anxiety.  I think I have the anxiety because it is a mental process I do of taking it on.  It may be my tendency but it is an external stress that I am internalizing.  The good pa
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Restless Heart...

"My name is DJ Jazzy Jazz (aka Jasmine), and I like Goats!"  --This is how I introduced myself at the dinner table tonight.-- "You can't introduce yourself like that and not do the thing..." -other staff. Cue the faux beat boxing, "Boots and cats and boots and cats.  Bts cts. Bts cts."  And the children become quiet and confused... wha?  "Jasmine, tell us your dream about goats!" -other staff. "I want to have goats that go on a trampoline!" -me Such is one of the many interesting conversations that occur at the youth shelter where I work.  It goes by many names... Emergency Shelter Program, Youth Crisis Shelter, Youth Shelter... et cetera. There are some days that push me beyond my limit.  Days I am like - Why. Is. This. My. Life. ? ? ? And there are days where I feel, "This moment is what it is about.  This is why I am in it.  It's worth it for this moment."  Is that the way parenting goes?  I feel I
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Gratitude and my thoughts

I'm enjoying a few quiet moments and a bowl of soup at my favorite food co-op.  I finished a good day of work and now get to rest and reflect.  I'm typing on my phone which would be easier on a typewriter at this point, but I found a quote from my notebook I wanted to share. "Gratitude, therefore, takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to the praise of the goodness of God.  For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience.  And that makes all the difference."  -Thomas Merton I have been experiencing gratitude for people I have been able to meet who have come alongside me lately.  They have shared their lives with me, encouraged me, and let me tell my own story.  As I have struggled to see my own value, they have let me know that small things can have great impact. Being content is important and although I may not see my impact, "It is well with my soul." I feel like m
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October Nights...

Greetings fellow humans, It is Friday night and I've spent it sitting on the deck spilling my thoughts on paper, sipping Caramel flavored hot apple cider, and having some dinner with a short trip to Facebook.  I think I prefer a quiet life to an overly rowdy one.  These past couple of months have breezed by, trying to soak in the last of the warmth this year will have to offer.  I have been enjoying the fall leaves.  It seems my mind has been more meandering than focused lately.  I have been jumping from one thing to the next. I have started a new job and I've come to really enjoy it.  It has plenty of challenges being as I work with youth and have much to gain in assertiveness and having limits.  I am hired part-time, but mostly work full-time hours.  I feel that the experience I am gaining has its own benefits and I am learning quite a bit.  I am becoming more comfortable with working at the youth shelter and am feeling more confident in myself.  I suppose any new hire c
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Summer Again...

Good evening, I have gotten to slow down a little bit lately.  It's good to take a break after pushing toward a goal for a year.  I finished my AmeriCorps hours yesterday: 1,720 hours.  It will be so good to see the final hours get approved this week.  Then I will feel like I am really done. I have actually had time to read things for fun lately.  I read The Bean Trees and The Secret Life of Bees .  It was good to finish the whole book so they can move on to another home.  I haven't been the most productive, but maybe rest is productive unto itself. It is so nice to be out in the sunshine lately.  The light is long.  I have been out on walks with the dog sometimes.  She's pulling me along mostly.  I am somewhat tired out, so this post may not be the most eloquent.  I am moving forward with training at a youth shelter.  I have been doing volunteer hours there for awhile. So many popsicles...  I love popsicles.  I painted my toenails a turquoise ocean blue.  It'
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Becoming New...

Good evening y'all, It has been a long day, but it has gone by fast.  Sort of ironic.  I'm sitting at home trying to get some rest from this cold that's clinging to me like a crawfish...??  I know I've been at work too long when I start sounding out words in my head that I see--like the word, Th-i-n-k-ing.  Or I start saying the words that way to adults when they ask me a question. This 2016-17 school year I am a LITERACY TUTOR in AmeriCorps.  It sounds kind of fancy when you put it that way.  I spend my days working one-on-one with about 16 different students on various reading interventions.  We work on short reading passages or blending together small words.  This also includes a lot of paperwork, data entry, prep work, bribing and coaxing via small toys, candy, and cracker items.  It should involve a lot more praise than scolding, more high-fives than head-shaking, and you get the picture.  The work is often rewarding, but also where I want to bang my head agai
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In the Quiet...

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Greetings, I write this while chilling out at home with the dog (Cubbie) lightly snoring, hearing the clock ticking in the quiet , and sitting in an office chair at the kitchen table as it is more comfortable than a regular chair.  I'm wearing my comfortable bright pink plaid flannel shirt.  I just ate a warm chicken pot pie from Lueken's grocery store and drank some hot chocolate.  I am so grateful for quiet moments like these.   They are rare. I am learning to really enjoy the simple things in life.   Mmm good morning coffee and a bowl of oatmeal, seeing a sunrise, a good hug from a loved one .  There's times when I hide in my little office space and feel pretty overwhelmed.  Some jobs really take a lot out of me.  It is stretching me beyond myself .  That is a good thing, but it is also challenging. I'm starting to settle into the routine of adult life a little better.  Get to places on time, make lists, write down dates in calendars, schedule appointme
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